Jesus the Interpersonal

And he allowed no one to follow him except Peter and James and John the brother of James. Mark 5:37

Everyone of us, if he is to experience fullness of joy  in this life has to have a certain quality of intimacy with others. The reservoirs deep in our hearts can only be touched by certain people and it is these places, that when touched, produce the true satisfaction in others that we need. Our deepest and truest affirmation only comes from those closest to us. This is a frightening statement if your thinking. It means in order to be happy, we must be vulnerable. Chance becoming less happy. In fact chance being rejected again, mocked again, or feeling unloved again. But love is how humanity opens itself to experience eternal life. and the command to love is truly the command to stay open, again, and again to others and the world around you.

And as he sat on the Mount of Olives opposite the temple, Peter and James and John and Andrew asked him privately… Mark 13:3

And when he came to the house, he allowed no one to enter with him, except Peter and John and James, and the father and mother of the child… Luke 8:51

Peter, james, and john are seen repeatedly through the gospel as the closest disciples to Jesus. It was here that he shared his desire for intimacy and friendship as a man. The picture here is breathtaking when you think of it. God has decended and become flesh with the same needs of flesh. food, drink, and now, other human relationships. Jesus never married anyone, yet fulfilled his need of intimacy with those around him. Jesus the God-man stands as the ultimate overwhelming witness that humanity needs itself. The first intentional thing  anyone must do to find love is, like Jesus, find a few men and women and share your life with them. Your thoughts, your feelings, your fears, your prayers, your insights, your food, your drink, the depths of who you are.

I want you to see Jesus as a man here. Gaze upon holy writ but see the God who is man. There was no mystical reason Jesus in select occasion decided to bring these 3 with into some of the most sacred moments of his life. It’s not esoteric, he liked them. They were nearest and dearest to Him. He too wanted to be alone with His loved ones. In the sacred and the ordinary. He loved them, and he let their love touch him. Yes, the Creator God needed them.

My exhortation to you is to peruse love by intentionally forming your inner circle as the first goal. We can all do this like Jesus, just pick them! I find this so simple it is invigorating. Go on a date with the same gender. Yes, I said it. Find a few that you think you would enjoy and try making some friends. Ask them out for coffee, lunch, ect. But get them alone with you and see if you fit.

Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Romans 12:16

But how and whom did Jesus decide? Notice the ones he picks, because the criteria is still the same today. It was not the most popular. It was not the great ones, by the culture’s status. It was the bottom. This is an extremely important point. The deepest affirmation we recieve does not primarily come from those who rank high on the social org chart. When over and over we deceive ourselves that when that guy or gal takes notice of me, I will be fulfilled, there are men and women dieing to draw near to you and who truly see the beauty of who you are. It was these who Jesus really wanted to surround himself with. One sure sign of maturity  is the resigning from the need to be noticed by those on the top to be content with, appreciate, and love deeply the ones who really love you at the bottom.

While he was still speaking to the people, behold, his mother and his brothers stood outside, asking to speak to him. 48 But he replied to the man who told him, “Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?” 49 And stretching out his hand toward his disciples, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers! 50 For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.”

Paul’s exhortation and Jesus’ example both say look low. It is normally where the most Holy are. And it’s these that you want. These are the faithful, lowly ones. But there are other benefactors in Jesus’ decision besides choosing friends from the bottom of society lest we think choosing unhealthy people to confide in is our wisest choice. The two areas I want to touch are mutual enjoyment and mutual empathy.

And after six days Jesus took with him Peter and James and John, and led them up a high mountain by themselves. And he was transfigured before them… Mark 9:2

I take this as moment of fun for Jesus. The phrase, “he took with him peter james and john” tell me he simply wanted to blow their mind! Imagine the sheer joy of Jesus in showing His friends His eternal glory! Met by Moses and Elijah and the audible voice of the father, It definitely worked! Why did He want to bring them with Him? In my opinion there is no reason. He had an emotional connection with them and wanted to bring them along! Why do we think that Jesus has no emotional connection with anyone? not even his disciples? So the first key in choosing you friends is mutual enjoyment. You both have to like each other…allot. It has to be easy to have fun, and there must be mutual initiation to have it.

And he took with him Peter and James and John, and began to be greatly distressed and troubled. Mark 14:33

So here we are again with Jesus and the twelve. The living word of God again to us, speaking through his every action the nature of God and true humanity. He weeps. sorrowful for the experience to be had in just one short hour, he clings to that which brings his soul most comfort, His Father and His friends. I won’t comment on the failure of his friends. The concept we want to draw out here is that he needed them…desperately. Oh The wound of jesus at His agony when His friends could not but “tarry with but one hour”. This next point is important, Mutual empathy must mark every interpersonal relationship. There must be time for both to suffer with the other with willing ready hearts (on an average basis).

To summarize, the christians way of getting love comes primarily through interpersonal relationships. The best way to love other is to be first filled. We receive this inpouring through a few (more than one)  deep level friendships and a vibrant relationship with God. This is also the only way to experience true happiness, if you have this wherever you are, you have the power to be content whatever your occupation may be. The way we attain  these friends is by looking lower socially, and intentionally planing time with them. We decide if it is fruitful by mutual enjoyment and mutual empathy over time.

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